Normal

“When will you understand that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.”

nor·mal   [nawr-muhl] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
2.
serving to establish a standard.

The definitions go on forever, but this is sufficient to make my point. For the last few months, my life has drastically been changing, in all areas. I left a job I loved and will soon be starting another, I moved to a different city, i moved in with my family, I stopped living with my best friend who I had lived with for 5 years, and some of my most important and defining relationships have been facing a lot of changes. I have found myself constantly saying and thinking "I just want to feel normal again." After a fight, or a break or a breakup with someone we all find ourselves saying that we want to feel "norma"l. After beginning a new job, it just doesnt feel "normal" Living with new people in a new city doesnt feel "normal" I put normal in quotes because I realize I have no idea what normal is. I'm searching for this thing, this feeling of contentment, that everything is right; but I dont think it exists. I am young and just facing the real world and I know that I will continuously be faced with these life changes. As soon as I feel comfortable and "normal" again, things will change. I will move again, I will get married, I will have children...all of this way big changes than what I am facing right now. So I think I've decided to find that normalcy within myself. To not let outside sources, such as relationships, locations, or jobs affect how I feel to myself. If I feel content with myself regardless of what is going on, then maybe I can always feel "normal."

Obsession

This whole living at home thing is starting to get to me. I am grateful for the opportunity to save money and spend time with my family, but I'm starting to lose it. I am just so bored so I am thinking of what I could possibly write on here because nothing cool goes on in my life and I glanced over on my desk and realized I have an obsession. It could be over something a lot worse but...I have a jar on my desk with random chapsticks and lipglosses - It has 6 different chapsticks and 13 lipglosses. I mean that is ridiculous. So I am vowing to not buy any until all these are gone. They can probably last me a couple years.

Ode to Lawrence

So i have had this thing for a few weeks now and just debating actually posting..basically I'm not that cool or entertaining and have no reason that people would ever want to read what I have to say. But it comes down to the fact that I have a LOT of extra time on my hands. Here's the thing, I have recently made that move that many others at my age and stage of life are making...I have moved back to my hometown, TO MY PARENTS house. I am currently waiting to start a job that doesnt start for 3 more weeks so I am stuck pondering the complexities of life, remembering the last 5 years and wondering what in the world I am going to do next or where I am going to end up. So here is this blog, to let out my frustrations, to share my triumphs and really to just have something to do.
For the last 5 years I have lived in the greatest college town in America and I am so grateful for the experience and all that came with it. One day as I was approaching the end of my senior year i stood at a tall place on campus and just looked at. Now if you have never been to the University of Kansas you have no clue what I'm talking about but it really is beautiful. A couple months ago, a friend and I took one last "tour" of campus and went to all our favorite spots and talked about our favorite memories and even eat a crunchy chicken cheddar wrap! Here are some pictures of those favorite places...

The Chi-Omega fountain. On beautiful spring days it was always refreshing to pass this and see all the bright, new flowers. On graduation day it was a perfect spot for a photo shoot and a great spot for after hours "swimming"

Potter's Lake. It has the cutest little benches around it to study or take a break from class and big open areas for a little picnic date. It's also a great stop to throw goal posts (although a few too many in one year)

Memorial Stadium. Enough Said
I didnt get a pic of Allen Fieldhouse that day but it is single-handedly the greatest place on campus. I can stand in there and fell the fight song and get this overwhelming feeling of joy. I am not a crier, but that pregame video gets me every time.
Lawrence was not just a place my parents dropped me off at where I went to get an education. It was a place I grew up, I became who I am. I made the most incredible, lifelong friendships. I fell in love, had my heartbroken, and fell in love again. I learned some things, most of which were learned outside the classroom and not in.
When I think back to how I decided to go to KU, I honestly have no idea. I knew I was going to stay in Kansas and I wasnt going to stay in Wichita. I had no family ties to any college in the state so it was up in the air. By the grace of God, I chose KU. I have no doubt that just as God led me to the University of Kansas, each step he takes me from here will be just as fulfilling and exactly what I need.